This time, you mattered

You are most afraid of indifference,
but I am scared
of affection.

Hugging the spinning blades
of a fan
adding speed, fingers white
it can take you on
a slow ride
or throw you
across, from a height
but as long it keeps on spinning
it shouldn’t matter
it didn’t.

I, on the other hand
will cut
the rope, dance into flames
nothing i will grasp, trust
to hold me
nothing i will let, bite me
but myself
as long as in solitary
it shouldn’t matter
it didn’t —

but you did.